When Christmas Hurts: Coping for those who have lost a child

The Advent and Christmas seasons can be difficult for anyone who has lost a loved one, but uniquely so for those who are mourning the death of an infant through miscarriage. I know because in 1986, in the tender first year of my husband’s and my marriage, I lost our first child on Christmas Day. Instead of celebrating a warm […]

The Paradox of Letting Children Go

When I saw my baby—my baby—flying through the air attached to bungee cords at the county fair, I couldn’t breathe and my arms suddenly ached to hold her and keep her safe. She was so high, so far away. Sure, she’s nine, but still . . . the sight evoked an all too familiar feeling, the same one I had when she took her first […]

Counting Them All

When people ask me how many children we have I answer nine. It’s true of course. My husband and I have nine living children. Well, some of my children are actually grown ups but you know what I mean- we have nine offspring walking the face of this earth. This is what these people want to know. But do you […]

What it Feels Like to Wonder About Miscarriage

This is to share the intense feelings of a mother wondering if a frail little life in the womb will survive or not. Many, many women know this feeling and it’s not easy to give it words, a mixture of hope and faith, heartbreak and yearning, and no one – no one – but the mother knows exactly what it’s like. And that’s OK. […]