What Do Women Want from Men?

man-praying-featured-w480x300We were sitting by the fireplace having supper when my husband brought up the age-old question, “What do women want in a guy?”

It turns out he had been bandying about ideas with some male friends, who confessed to being quite perplexed.

Something deep inside me prompted me to say “I know what many Catholic women want.”

We want a man who will protect us from bad guys who might come prowling around in the night.

We want a man who will hold us when lightning splits the sky in two – and tree limbs bang against the house like the arms of an angry giant.

A man who will calm us when the phone rings at 3 a.m. shattering our dreams with bad news.

We yearn for a man who will love us unconditionally even if we fall off the diet wagon for the hundredth time. Someone who will tell us we are beautiful even when we suspect the mirror suggests otherwise.

We want a guy who will get us smiling again on the days when the oatmeal boils over, the dishwasher breaks, and the dog absconds with the meat loaf.

We want a man who will make us chicken soup when we have the flu. Drive us to our mammogram appointment and sit there patiently in the waiting room until the doctor says, “You’re fine!”

A man who will stand by us even if the doctor announces that something is terribly wrong.

We want a man who will forgive us if we go on a shopping binge and come home with our fifth pair of black shoes. A man who will chuckle when the living room looks exactly like a page from a trendy home magazine—but it’s the “before” photo.

We long for a man who will vow to stick with us through thick and thin through the sacrament of marriage. Someone who will walk up the aisle with us at Mass to receive the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ.

We want a guy who is courageous enough to defend the teachings of the Catholic Church in a world that mocks them, especially when it comes to the sanctity of life.

If we have children, we want a man who will take fatherhood seriously. Someone who will work two jobs if that’s what it takes to keep the larder stocked. And who won’t be too tough to get down on his knees and pray the rosary with his kids.

Above all, we yearn for a man who will mirror Christ’s love to others and make sacrifices when necessary. A man who puts getting into heaven first on his to-do list. And who will help us get there too.

Lorraine writes about her journey from Catholic schoolgirl to radical feminist/atheist and back again in “Confessions of an Ex-Feminist.” She is also the author of two laugh-out-loud mysteries, “Death of  a Liturgist” and “Death in the Choir.” Her website is www.lorrainevmurray.com.

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About the Author

Lorraine is the author of “The Abbess of Andalusia: Flannery O’Connor’s Spiritual Journey.” She also has written three mysteries, most recently “Death Dons a Mask.” Her email is lorrainevmurray@yahoo.com. All of her books can be seen on her website is www.lorrainevmurray.com.

Lorraine V. Murray grew up in Miami, and graduated from Immaculata Academy High School. One of the nuns there predicted that if Lorraine went to a secular college, she would be in great danger of losing her faith. Lorraine thought that was funny, but in fact the sister’s prediction came true.

Majoring in English at the University of Florida, Lorraine bid farewell to her Catholicism when she was 19. She went on to get a Ph.D. in philosophy and became a radical feminist and atheist for over 20 years.

After teaching courses in English and philosophy on the college level, Lorraine worked as an editor in a university publications office. In her forties, the Lord called her back to her Catholic roots, and she went on to write about her conversion journey in her book “Confessions of an Ex-Feminist.”

Her recent books are “Death of a Liturgist,” a fun-filled mystery featuring murder and mayhem in a Georgia parish, and “The Abbess of Andalusia,” which explores Flannery O’Connor’s Catholic journey. All her books can be seen at www.lorrainevmurray.com (link provided below).

Lorraine writes regular columns for the religion section of “The Atlanta Journal-Constitution” and “The Georgia Bulletin.” She lives in Decatur, Georgia, with her husband, Jef, a Tolkien artist and book illustrator. In her spare time, she bakes bread, watches hummingbirds, and chases squirrels out of her garden.

Connect with Lorraine at:

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  1. Funny this should appear now. Just the other day, I sent our youngest son a link to my favorite story of all time about this very question. He is 28 years old and engaged to a lovely young lady but has questions, as many young men do at that stage of their lives. He liked this very much, so I offer this link in the hope that others will, to. http://www.chivalrynow.net/articles1/gawain.htm

  2. As a single Catholic woman, This is exactly what I am looking for, but why is it so hard to find someone like this. I keep praying for my future husband and especially that his prayers get answered.

  3. It made me realize this is exactly what I have in my husband. But of
    course I’ve been taking it for granted.

  4. To be blunt: how many American are worth all of that?

    As one writer put it American Women have priced themselves out of the market.

  5. …as long as she doesn’t mind that I’m doing all of that on a historian’s budget and will be giving the dog a secret thumb’s up behind her back while holding & comforting her (I agree with everything else, and I DO feel for her on losing what she just cooked — I’ve dropped casseroles on the carpet right after baking them and such — but I gotta give the pup his due for the victory!).

    I honestly think that issue that we face as a society in many ways is that we have women who want men to act like this and men who want to act like this. Unfortunately, I think many of the “good girls” are the ones who society teaches to focus on studies early after being burned by early-developing “bad guys.” So, the good men spend too many years failing at making headway in dating because the women who ARE in the ‘dating game’ are the ones who want something very different — and we end up basically tapping out by the time the “good girls” reemerge with degrees & good jobs seeking a good man (since life seems to call for dual-incomes now and we’ve all seem to have been conditioned that marriage is a capstone instead of a life-builder, even those of us who are chaste and end up spending lonely years of middling success that should really be spent with a partner-in-not-crime at our backs)…

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