by Randy Hain | September 6, 2012 12:01 am
“Thou movest us to delight in praising Thee; for Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee” (St. Augustine, Confessions).
I think most writers are naturally introspective and reflective. While in Eucharistic Adoration yesterday morning I prayed for many things, including strength and courage to stay focused on the path Christ wants me to follow. As I sometimes remember to do, I let my mind grow quiet and tried to listen as much as I prayed. The quote from St. Augustine above, which is one of my favorites, crossed my mind and I thought of little else for the rest of my time in the parish chapel. The word from the quote which resonated most with my desire to stay on the right path was restless. Why “restless”?
Restlessness has plagued me most of my life. I thought the uneasy restlessness I began feeling as a teenager was a desire to move away from home and go to college or have career success, but that wasn’t it. I then thought getting married and having a family would calm my restlessness, but that wasn’t it either. It wasn’t until 2005, when I experienced a profound personal conversion, surrendered to Christ and joined the Catholic Church with my family that I recognized my misdiagnosed restlessness was really a lifelong search for the Truth. When I found the Truth, did my restlessness come to an end? No, but now it manifests itself in different ways.
Having experienced the Truth of Christ in the Church He founded, I thought my search was over when in reality it was only beginning. I have come to understand that my conversion and surrender to Christ must be an ongoing process and not a one-time event. My restlessness still crops up from time to time, especially when I am not actively living out my faith. When my sinful behavior pulls me away from Christ, I feel a sense of loss like a dull ache that is only made better by once again drawing closer to Him. How do I find my way back to Christ when I stray from the path?
My unsatisfied restlessness over the years obscured my vision and often kept me from seeing God’s miracles all around me. I said “No” to God for over two decades until I let go of my pride and surrendered to Him in 2005. When I flipped a switch and began saying “Yes”, I redirected that formerly negative energy into serving Him. Now, I am blessed to see God’s hand in my children, marriage, friends, business life, prayer life and the ministry work I am privileged to do in the Church.
I have also come to realize over the last several years that when you truly experience the Truth, you can never get enough of it. It is a craving that can only be satisfied by Jesus Christ and the path to Him which leads through the Catholic Church. I may always struggle with my restless heart, but I know that I will find the peace and rest I seek if I am faithful in following Him and His Church.
St. Augustine… pray for us. Amen.
Randy Hain, Senior Editor for The Integrated Catholic Life™, is the author of The Catholic Briefcase: Tools for Integrating Faith and Work which was recently released by Liguori Publications. The Catholic Briefcase is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble online and your local Catholic bookstore.
The Catholic Briefcase was recently voted the Best Catholic Book of 2011 in the About.com Catholicism Reader’s Choice Awards.
Randy Hain’s new book, Along the Way: Lessons for an Authentic Journey of Faith will be released by Liguori Publications in November 2012 and is available for pre-order on Amazon.
Looking for a Catholic Speaker? Check out Randy’s speaker’s page and the rest of the ICL Speaker’s Bureau.
Please help us in our mission to assist readers to integrate their Catholic faith, family and work. Tell your family and friends about this article using both the Share and Recommend buttons below and via email. We value your comments and encourage you to leave your thoughts below. Thank you! – The Editors
Source URL: http://www.integratedcatholiclife.org/2012/09/randy-hain-restless/
Copyright ©2013 The Integrated Catholic Life unless otherwise noted.